6 years ago, I was waking up around this time, all by myself. My bridesmaids were scattered throughout my apartment all sound asleep. It was like Christmas morning and I couldn't sleep from all of the anticipation and excitement of the day. Today, I should be celebrating my 6th wedding anniversary with the love of my life. Instead, I woke up alone and the other side of my bed is cold. So many mixed emotions today and leading up to today. March has just been an incredibly difficult month. Just when it seem liked life was starting to look up again, I feel like I'm back to the beginning of moving forward again. I miss him often. Everything would be so different if he was still here.
When you say your wedding vows and you say "til death do us part", you never really think your other half will die while you're still alive. I sure as hell didn't. When I made those vows, I thought I was spending the rest of MY life with him, we would have kids, then grandkids, then great grandkids, then die when we are old and fragile and lived an incredibly long life together. Instead, I only got 4 short months as parents with him. No grandkids or great grandkids. No old and fragile days. I just got to spend the rest of HIS life with him. And it was just too damn short.
Michael Edward, I miss you terribly. I miss your infectious personality and laugh. I miss the way I could never be mad long because you would find something to make me smile. I miss the random gifts you would send me at work to let me know you loved me and were thinking about me. I miss your long arms that could wrap me up and never let me go. I miss your fun, playful nature. I miss our weekend adventures where we tried new things. But most of all, I just miss sharing a life with you and I'm devastated I'm watching M&M grow up before my very own eyes and you aren't here to share in everything with me. I love you. Happy Anniversary, honey.
