Changes

Big, big changes coming in the Shaw house.  

I guess it's official now because I've told my boss and staff.  We are moving to Houston! I start June 27th.  I'll be in the same position I am here, just in Region 06.  So many emotions- excited, scared, sad, angry.  This was definitely a bittersweet decision for me. 

When Mike and I bought this house 6 years ago, almost to the day, we had such big plans for it and our growing family.  Some of those plans got put in motion and cabinets were added, new appliances, crown molding, etc., but some weren't.  Most importantly, we bought this home with children in mind and a family in mind.  That was cut all too short.  

With that said, I can't live in this house anymore.  When Mike died and I thought I was going to have to sell the house, I was DEVASTATED.  Beyond words.  Then, by the grace of God and all of the support of friends and family, I was able to get by for a few months until I could figure everything out in order to stay in our home.  But, all of the years of laughter and happiness and hopes and dreams have pretty much disappeared.  I still "see" the last place I saw him alive, still see him where everything happened, still see specific memories- happy and sad- of him all through the house and it's just too much.  I feel like I'm stuck in a rut the past 2 years and no matter what I do I can't move forward.  I can't do it anymore.  I used to be happy most of the time, and full of life, and liked to get out and do things, and now I'm isolated... in a house full of crushed dreams.  

I want to be happy again.  I don't know what that looks like anymore.  But, I know I need some major changes in order to take that step in the right direction. So... I move forward.  I'm starting a job in unfamiliar territory.  Moving to a town where I don't know where anything is.  I'm selling the only home M&M have ever known to hopefully build them a better one.  I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, out of the "plans" I've made for my life and letting go.  I'm hoping God catches me and guides me in the right direction so I don't fall. 

Here's to new and exciting adventures in 2016.