My Loyal Companion

Freddy, my sweet, sweet baby boy.  10 years you've been in my life and today was the final day.  My heart is broken in to a million pieces.  I've watched you suffer for 2 days and knew it was time but that didn't make it any easier.  I needed your daddy today.  I've never felt more alone than I did today as I held you as you took your last breath.  No amount of explanation they gave me prepared me for that moment.

You have been such a good, good boy, Freddy.  You've got me through many tearful nights, many laughs, and just life in general.  I got you in June 2006.  Funny enough, your daddy and I had broke up for a short period of time and I didn't need no man! I was getting a dog!  And I got you.  Oh what a lucky, lucky girl I was to have you.  When your daddy started talking to me again, I told my roommate that if you didn't like him- he had to go!  But you looooved him.  Loved him.  You were such a daddy's boy.  I remember that night how you would keep stealing his baseball cap and it became a game to take it and run.  We laughed so hard that night.

There was a day, not long after I got you, that I lost you.  I went out with friends and when I came back you were gone.  I still have suspicions of what happened that night but it was devastating for me.  I looked all over for you and couldn't find you.  I called you and you never came.  I posted a cash reward, no questions asked, and thankfully they gave you back to me.  I was so scared.  I loved you so much already and I had only had you for like a month.

A year after you came home, we brought home your brother.  The very first night you and Chester got in to a huge fight where I got bit.  You had to show him that you were in charge and after that it was like you belonged together.  You've spent the last 9 years together and you would never know that you both came from different homes originally.  When I brought you home Sunday, Chester was so excited, his whole butt was wagging, not just his tail.  This morning, when you were having a rough time, I'm not sure if you know it but Chester came and laid down besides you.  I think he knew how sick you were.  When I came home today without you, he looked crushed.  He sniffed me, jumped on me, then walked away and laid down. I'm certain he knew in that moment that you weren't coming home.  It completely broke my heart.  Of course, he has Colt, but nothing compares to yours and Chester's bond. 

I have so many fond memories of you that I will cherish for the rest of my life- Like the first time you saw Texas Snow:

And the first time you met Santa Clause:

And when we brought home those 2 noisy, squeaky, things we called babies.

I hope you felt like you had a life well lived.  I hope you know how much I loved you.  I hope you know how much you meant to me.  I hope you know how much love you brought to my life.  I miss you so much already and I can only hope that your daddy was there in heaven waiting to meet you and hold you.  I love you my Freddy boy.   You will be missed.